Exhuasting Day

Hmm.... finally reached 2011..... and realized many things are lay in the way which we least expected...

Many changes which hit and affect my life.... =) well this is life......as we grow older..... we realized there are changes..... and whether we can accept the changes or not... this is something we need to reflect on..... and hope others could kindly accept the changes with grace.... and be kind to others who need to change.... commenting someone has changed in a harsh way would further dampen and destroy the spirit in a person.... how many pple can take it with grace I am not sure..... I am hoping that those who know who I am.... listen to my stories and take it with grace.... Listen it from the person at first hand and not others.... as how messages could be changed as we passed it on from different pple.... and at times.... it is hard for someone who is undergoing changes to inform anyone that he/she is changing..... it would be good to kindly ask the person.... sometimes these pple needs help while changing... we could just kind stretch our hands and aid them.... =) this is the same thing happening to anyone that is breathing in this mother earth right now.... learn to love with grace and not taking it too hardly.... just like my situation as follows.... struggling with a new class and the class is evolving....

Well for the start of new 2011.... things are pretty okie.... however.... I was challenged by a class.... my current CL B class.... rather huge class.... there are some students who are sincerely could not cope with Chinese.... with this back in my mind.... I would work hard to teach them the basic... however there are some.... whom have no interest in Learning Chinese.... for this group of students.... I seriously need to find new avenues to coach the easiest way to learn Chinese..... I told them..... whether they take normal Chinese or CL B... what I want most would be.... they learn a language..... learning different lifeskills which they might miss out....

Today lesson.... seriously did not go well for me..... I need to think of new ways to coach them.... and in hope that they learn some skills before they leave the school with their heads holding high and standing tall....

Seeking.... part 2

Hmm juz like Jacky.. watever things I mentioned... it became a problem... became horrible situations for me to handle.... well I guess it is time to re-learn how to deal with human beings... how to speak correctly....

sometimes... I deemed to be someone who loves to talk alot craps... but deep down inside... am I someone like that? hmmm I guess only those who knows me well enough may have the answer.... I am tired...

so how to get out of the circle?? well I went to see my friend a 1-2 months ago... he gave light to me.... gave directions to me... allowing me to re-find my purpose in life.... he also mentioned... learnt how to handle yourself before handling others.... maybe he is right abt it.... at times... I'm wondering how to communicate with another frd of mime.. after so long... and yearning for pple to understand me.... that kind of yearning led me to bump into too many situations which I find it hard to believe... ya at times my life is as interesting as the TV drama... sigh.... well I do wish one fine day... I can communciate with my frd at ease...

well it is time to let go of the frustration I have in me.... finally after struggling in my work for 6 years.... I never realized why I tried to do my best in work... things do not go smoothly... due to it.... my relationships with others.... facing threats... facing horrors... facing break ups.... after I heard all those comments... is it worth it? I taking back my life... my precious time .. and moving on....

Seeking

It has been awhile since my last written blog...

too many things happened..... which caused me to trap in some weird situations ... I could not understand why such situations keep appearing...

anyway..... it is time to let go of many things at hand.... and seek for help.... what kind of help?? a small break would be a great hand.... I do not know how to tackle certain issues... I am lost of words to explain or to say.....

But there are certain things I feel that I need to do before .... I mixed up my life events again..... so many times..... fates are twisted.... causing more and more complications...... so how to get out from there?? I also not too sure.... but I would give a try again....... to get things straight....

and began to realise many fates have changed over time...... my life changed drastically.... I do not like to talk much now.... coz realizing that.... the moments i speaked.... problems came out.... just like Jacky Cheung..... his intentions are good .... but his words are not put it at the finest way and misunderstood .... at times I could not bring my message cleared over..... it is different from work..... and the best part is.... i choose to keep mum.... coz peace is wat i longing for... but but when can I have peace??

letting it go is the best........ i would let all my stress to go off.... i would seek.....

Baby killer

very sad case....

when you decided to bring a child to this mother earth... thats where you are to take up new responsiblities and new roles in your life.... that is a new turning point for many parents.... yet this sad case has brought us into the new realm of darkness.....

but asking ourselves... why is it happening?? i guess there are many pple could not cope with many life changing events... and facing stress... pple simply gave up... like my previous msgs... many are crying within.... this man may face certain level of stress and in the wrong timing... he caused death of his young one.... this is the worst case to happen.....

sigh sadden by this shocking news

Reading part 1 =)

Finally after so so so longzzzz.... I can breathe happily without much despair..... with all the tons of stress, family problems, emotional struggle, problems with relationships..... finally it has come to an end for now.....

Finally... I could really breathe.... for survival.... I managed to find a way to look beyond my painful experiences... my sadness....my emotions.... all those which would "dragged me to the deepest level of Hell".... found a way to let go and look forward.....

Well... all these events... I shld have taken as challenges that GOD gave me.... yet during that point of despair I could not see it.... completely in Denial Mode.... Refused to get any Help or anything..... but lucky for me.... I have supportive family...friends....colleagues... and esp my hubby to be ^^_V Including my students... without them.... I don't think I could put it thru...... though for some of them did not say much..... their continual encouragement is very much appreciated....

So having the space to breathe.... I was guided by Fate....and bought a fantastic book =) it is known as "ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING" yeah!! indeed..... though I don't have all the time to finish in a go.... I actually appreciating every free moment to catch a few pages of the book =)... and every moment.... I learnt some new =)

ohh okie =) time to head out to buy gift for my mama =)

muz once again to thank many pple out there who are there for me...even I never voice out much =)

lately events...

re-learning to look forward in my life... is something I know yet new to me at this point of time.....

it has been long since I have learn to re-love myself..... though I have facials... those facials I went is for a purpose.... purpose to look beautiful?? >.< nope.... purpose of looking at my best during my friends' weddings..... this is call respect....

but back to the topic of re-learning to love myself...... I spoke to my good friend..... whom emphasized that I need to find a time for myself..... it is time for me to love myself..... most of my time I have devoted to work and my kids... indeed..... for a long long long time..... I did not have the chance to do things that I longed to do.... like having gatherings with my old friends..... I do not really have a chance...... to give up my duty during that time... was a tough decision.... coz to me.... work and duty have eat into my life.....and it was so bad that I could no longer recognize my own life or the things I longed to do..... in turn.... it was sad.... I lost my friends due to work ..... work stress..... and others.....

work stress.... something I did not know when did it started eating into my life..... and plus when I started my studies..... double stress...... all I know during that time.... was to work, study... nothing else...... I have lost directions.....and did not know what I can do during that time..... I could no longer tell others how I feel.... though it seems easy.... it is hard... coz simply.... adding stress to others is a no no.... this is how I view.... maybe I got bad experience in the past which taught me to keep things to myself and nothing else...... not saying that I cannot trust others..... yet.... what can I do?? adding more things to others?? hmm nope not in my dictionary..

anyway back to my first inital topic.... re-learning to love myself..... yes something I am working on in..... nowadays.... things have been starting to look better..... I finally could put all work down in my work place and head back home with stress free mind....and I would work the next day!! this is something I have achieved... well juz pray hard that I could keep up with this goal of mine ^^ and finding more other goals..... though at times I do wish to find back those things I have lost.... I know it is tough....

=.="

lately events.... have stirred storms in my gloomy days.....

though looking forward towards embracing an new lease of life ..... things juz came and blurred my vision.....

why it happened in this manner?? why they could not cope with the rules and regulations?? I have my duty and job to fufill.... yet they have completely misunderstood and become more and more defiant...... what can I do now?? I really at lost......

CNY is coming.......yet I do not have the mood to celebrate it......... ask me why......... I also not sure..... juz that if I can......... I would take off from here and go travelling........ but can I do that?? the answer is a confirmed NO........ certain events.....came and affected me....... how to relate back to them??? I do not know how........ juz it be??? will the problem be gone?? I also not sure......

anyway....... "raindrops keeping falling upon my head........."